He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
