I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
