you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
