I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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