Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
