my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
