Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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