obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
