you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
