theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
