Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
