btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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