The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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