She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Still dying that you shit outside
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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