You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
