Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
