Can Purell be used as lube?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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