you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
