I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
