So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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