Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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