Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
