At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My life is pants optional.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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