You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
