Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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