There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
