bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All the doctor said was why
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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