Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
