oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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