Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
