I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
