Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
