I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
