You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
