I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nicole vs. Life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
