maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
