So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
