i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
