So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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