So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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