hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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