my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
