Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.