Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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