Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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