watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
