at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
