TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
