I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
