worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
