Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
