im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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