somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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