Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
