you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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