so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
