last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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