handjob tips. give me some.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
