I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
