I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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