So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
